![]() Here’s a hospital, get healed up or don’t. ![]() Everything in your journey’s queued up in nice manageable single file. And most of the time things feel a lot more understandable than they did in Dankest Dungball 1. It’s a Somebody Else’s Trolley Problem, as it were. And I’m more comfortable with that level of decision making, and the stated expectation that we’re going to fuck up eventually. I got along better with *Darkest* Funyuns 2 because it’s got a more Slay the Spire-y sort of progression where you’re always inexorably moving towards the final looming horror, just deciding at forks in the road if you’re gonna go via the haunted library or the drive-thru all-devouring maw.īut on the whole you can either press forward to continue towards inevitable failure, or sit there watching nothing happen until the power company shuts you off or you run out of piss bottles. As I say, I got along a lot better with Deathtrap Du- oh fuck I knew I was going to do that at some point. Oh that’s right: backhandedly praise the game first. I brought this fucking boss down to zero health and then he polished off my entire battered party in his next two turns because he just wouldn’t fucking die, and I’m like, game, what the fuck else could I have possibly done to win the day in this scenario? Was I not crossing my fingers hard enough? Hang on, I feel like I forgot something. The same courtesy extended to the AI-controlled enemy? Call me a hypocritical elitist who’s prejudiced against the non-sentient, but that I could do without. Creates suspense, helps you claw things back from the brink. Death saving throws when you’re out of health? I’m all in favour. You know what, let’s start there ‘cos I just brought it up. Things have become a little more abstract and it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s a metaphor for your decaying sanity and all of that bollocks,īut the fingernail-shaped divots in my cheeks were real enough when my whole party got wiped by some half-melted fat bloke too stupid to realise he’d run out of HP. Involving a huge floating brain with four bike locks on it. The difference is, this time, there’s no dungeon, which is certainly one definition of “streamlining.” The Lovecraftian horrors have spilled out into the overworld to party like it’s the end times and so you load your four members of the fun police into a cart and embark on an odyssey to save the world by doing… something. The basic premise is intact – you’re a scholar who’s read enough Lovecraft short stories to know that the smartest way to confront unknowable mind-breaking evils is to get somebody else to do it, and so must guide and fit out a team of mercenaries and send them on doomed expeditions into the darkness to acquire resources and battle monsters not so twisted and deformed by the looming horror that they can’t politely wait for their go in the turn-based combat system. Happily, I got on a lot better with Dookie Dungeon 2, probably because there’s less decision making in it. View Full Transcriptįelt like the game was constantly saying “You sure you wanna do that?” just as I was about to let go of the chess piece, until all I wanted to do was flip the board and insist on switching to Scattergories. Should we keep moving? Which door should we take? Where should we spend our off hours now? What precise number of biscuits have you allotted for this cup of tea? And it being such an unforgiving game I felt paralysed by the thought that I was making the wrong decision. “Hey Yahtzee, you like Lovecraftian horror! And roguelikes! And exploiting people to the point of death/mental breakdown!” To which I would say “That’s true, but for some reason Darkest Dungeon 1 never really grabbed me, and also hamsters don’t talk, so get back in the fucking wheel.” I put it down to an excess of decision making I felt I was being asked to do. ![]() Seriously though, Darkest Dungeon 1 was a game people recommended to me a lot. And I was very glad to see it get a sequel because there’s nothing I like more than getting my head around a great big pair of double D’s. There’s some of that completely objective game reportage you all keep asking for. ![]() Darkest Dungeon 2 is the sequel to Darkest Dungeon 1. What’re you gonna do about it? You gonna report me to the review police? Get me sent down on a ten-stretch for possession of irreverence with intention to distribute? Anyway. We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for ZP merch.
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